An Important Lesson
by Razamataz22
Summary: Kurenai is tricked by Anko into teaching children about a very delicate topic and she has no real idea how one would normally go about teaching sexual education.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**...**

"Yay, my sweet little Nai-chan got bumped up the ladder," said Anko with a large smile plastered over her face as she grabbed the person she was talking to in a vicious hug that could crush bones if she wasn't careful.

"Anko...air..." said Kurenai patting her long time friend on the shoulder in an attempt to get the kunoichi off of her.

"No," stated Anko, acting like a spoiled child clinging to an oversized teddy bear. A couple of seconds passed before Anko could feel a change in her arms to discover that Kurenai had managed to get her arms together in order to form a Kawarimi, substituting herself for a log, despite the fact the forest surround the village was many miles away. It was somewhat strange knowing that no matter where you were there was always a trust log waiting to take an attack for you. "You're no fun you know that."

"I'd rather not my first day as Jounin be my last," said Kurenai from behind Anko, ruffling the young woman's hair as if she were a child. "So you know clearly what's been going on in my life, what about yourself, what have you been doing?"

"Well actually I got asked to teach at the academy tomorrow, teaching the kids some cool stuff," said Anko turning around to face her friend. Kurenai blinked a couple of times in disbelief at those words.

"I thought you were banished from the academy after what you did back then," said Kurenai. "Seriously, you really didn't have to go back there after we graduated."

"C'mon, you know they deserved it."

"Not really," said Kurenai glaring daggers at Anko.

"Fine, fine," said Anko brushing it off. "I guess it could be problematic if they realise that it's me who's coming in."

"You mean they don't even know you're coming in to teach?" asked Kurenai wondering how little Anko had planned ahead. "Do you even know what topic you're meant to be teaching?"

"Of course I do," said Anko as she stuck her tongue out playfully. "I guess there might be some complaints afterwards from the principal if I go overboard during my lesson. Hell, some of the kids may not even be able to make it to their final exam in a few weeks."

"Why are you telling me this?" asked Kurenai wondering what Anko was trying to get out of the situation.

"I don't know, I guess if you wanted to protect the lives of the children you could take the class for me, if you did that you could also see which brats you'd be getting as a team beforehand," said Anko with a cheeky grin on her face. "Who knows, you could probably figure out which kids would be best suited as your own team and ask the Hokage to give you an unfair advantage in the team selections."

"You know that wouldn't be right," scolded Kurenai.

"Fine then," said Anko putting her hands behind her head as she began to move off. "Just so you know if I lose my career because I maimed and mentally destroyed a few children the fault's on your shoulders."

"...Fine, I'll do it."

...

Kurenai stood awkwardly in front of the class that she had been directed to. Upon learning that she would be replacing Anko the principal had been extatic, wondering just how Kurenai had bribed Anko into letting her take a lesson she had originally demanded she taught at kunai point. Of course this had merely made Kurenai confused of all things, wondering why Anko would force herself into teaching only to handball it onto her; it didn't really make much sense.

"Alright children," said Iruka as he stood near the substitute teacher. "As I have appointments to attend to Kurenai here will be your sensei for the rest of the day."

"I'm happy for you to have me," said Kurenai with a light bow knowing that first impressions here were crucial considering of the students in front of her three would soon become her students.

"Well now Kurenai," said Iruka as he turned to face his substitute, "I leave the students in your capable hands."

"Before you leave," said Kurenai causing Iruke to pause midstep. "Just curious, I was never informed of what topic I was meant to be teaching."

"Oh, you're teaching Sex Ed."

And just like that the world came crashing down on the female Jounin who merely stood there in shock, not even able to hear the next few words that came out of Iruka's mouth before he left leaving her in a very awkward situation. Mentally she swore that she would get Anko back one day for this, knowing full well that the woman had planned this every step of the way. By the time Kurenai returned to her senses and turned around in an attempt to get Iruka to give her some manner of instruction he was long gone.

Here she was, a kunoichi who had taken upon hundreds of missions without fail from everything from escort missions to assassination but in front of these kids she felt absolutely terrified. This was a lesson that they would take with them for the rest of their lives but how was she even meant to go about it.

"Umm, miss...are you going to say anything?" asked a kid in the front row, clearly worried by the fact their teacher hadn't even moved for the past thirty seconds.

"My apologies," said Kurenai, happy that the child had broken her out of her stupor less she be stuck like that for several more minutes. "I believe firstly introductions are in order. My name is Yuhi Kurenai and I will be your teacher today in this...delicate subject."

Walking to the blackboard, Kurenai grabbed a piece of chalk and wrote the words 'Male' and 'Female' on opposite sides of the board. "Who here, can tell me some of the differences between boys and girls?" she asked.

"Boys are idiots," commented one girl which caused a round of giggles to spread amongst the majority of the females in the room.

"Is there anyone that can give me a serious answer?" asked Kurenai wondering how much of her patience would be able to make it through this class intact.

"Girls are gross," said a boy causing mild laughter amongst the other young men. Kurenai however merely glared aggressively at the boy nearly causing him to wet himself in fear.

"We have different body types," said one of the boys, finally showing some manner of respect.

"Correct," said Kurenai thankful that at least one student was taking her seriously. "Men and women are different in many ways which help us with our individuality as people."

"Excuse me miss, but how does that correspond with Sex Ed?"

"Stupid little brat ruining my run," grumbled Kurenai under her breath having hoped to have milked that moment for a few minutes longer. As far as she could tell she just needed to kill as much time as possible before the end of the class so that she could apologise and state that she had merely run out of time. "Alright, so we've established that men and women are different but does anyone know why are parts are different."

Kurenai stared at the bored class, hoping that someone would answer the question. Her crimson eyes narrowed as she spotted one boy openly taking a nap at the back of the class.

She picked a pile of books off the desk and stalked over to the sleeping boy, the class's eyes focused on her. Kurenai dropped the books on the desk with a bang!

The young boy jerked back, nearly falling out of his chair. "What?"

"Do you know any differences between boys and girls?" Kurenai demanded coldly.

The boy sighed as he stretched his arms back. "Troublesome."

"What was that?" Kurenai asked.

"Women are troublesome."

Kurenai's brow twitched. Just her luck, she had to deal with a sexist pig. Before she did anything too rash however she had to remind herself that she was dealing with a bunch of twelve year olds.

"I could land you in detention for that," Kurenai stated.

The would-be Genin yawned. "You're not actually a teacher."

"I'm a Jounin who agreed to spend what little precious free time she had to teach you kids."

The boy sighed. "My old man probably outranks you."

Kurenai tried to reign in her temper, she really did, but this boy was hitting all the right nerves. "And who is your father then? I believe I'll be having words with him."

"Nara Shikaku."

Damn it, the boy hadn't been bluffing. The old war veteran far outranked her but that didn't mean she wasn't going to flex her muscles a bit in order to garner some manner of respect from the kids. "Go to the principal's office right now and tell him you were disrespecting a village Jounin."

The boy pulled himself from his seat and stuck his hands in pocket. He even managed to walk lazily as he left the classroom. A couple of the lazy boy's friends knew full well however that Shikamaru would be taking a detour on his way to the principals office to the rooftop where he would spend the rest of the school day staring at the clouds flying overhead. The main kicker being that Kurenai would be none the wiser.

Kurenai was suddenly aware that every pair of eyes in the room were on her and the room was deadly silent. She managed to keep her face stoic as she returned to the board.

"To repeat myself from earlier," she said, "does anyone know why boys and girls parts are different?"

She braced herself for a childish outburst but didn't even get a murmur. Was the class that scared of her?

She finally noticed a boy in the middle of the class sitting silently, perfect posture to boot, with his hand up. The boy wore a full body coat and sunglasses.

"Yes." Kurenai pointed at the stoic boy. "You."

"Miss, am I correct to assume that you are trying to teach us about sexual intercourse?" The boy asked quietly. "If so, I already know a lot about that field."

Kurenai arched her brow. "Alright then, tell the class what you know."

The boy cleared his throat. "Most breeds have a mating season where they are most sexually active and this is the time they will most likely seek out the opposite sex. The gender that seeks out the other can vary from breed to breed but is usually the male.

Kurenai blinked in shock. Mating seasons? Breeds?

The bot continued with his lecture. "The male or female will then beat back or kill the competition before the actual intercourse."

Cries of "cool" and "awesome" from the boys in the room.

Kurenai gaped at the boy. Killing the competition? What was he talking about?

"Then the male impregnates the female with larvae, the amount can vary from dozens to hundreds depending on the breed, and then the female usually kills and eats the male." The boy finished speaking.

Kurenai opened her mouth to tell the boy he was completely wrong but was too late. A blond boy with startling blue eyes and whisker marks, the Kyuubi host no doubt, jumped up from his chair. "What the hell?" The boy screeched, "I can't become Hokage if some girl eats me!"

"Sit down!" Kurenai barked before focusing her attention on the initial cause of the ruckus. "What's your name and who taught you that?" She demanded of him.

"My name is Aburame Shino," the boy said stiffly, "and my clan's members taught be that but I have also witnessed it firsthand."

Aburame. Bugs. It all made sense now. "Shino while that may be true for bugs, it is not true for mammals." Kurenai turned her attention back to the class as a whole while Shino mulled over this new information. "Does anyone know anything at all about how mammals do it?"

"I know a lot!" A boy at the back piped up, he stood up and Kurenai noticed a puppy on the top of his jacket. The boy grinned as he everyone looked at him.

Kurenai nodded at the enthusiastic student. "Tell us then."

As the boy took in a deep breath, she noticed clan markings on his cheeks.

Inuzuka. Dogs. Just her luck.

"Whenever the dog gets horny he'll go over to the bitch and stick his-"

"That's enough!" Kurenai yelled, interrupting the boy before he scarred his classmates for the rest of their lives. "I'll take it from here so sit down."

The boy pouted at his limelight being taken away but sat down as Kurenai figured what she should do from here. "You and you, come to the front of the class," said Kurenai pointing to two children. She figured that a physical demonstration would be needed to get the proper message through these childrens skulls. She knew that she desperately needed to get this lesson back on track after all the chaotic nonsense about larvae and what would have followed with puppies.

Hinata swallowed nervously as she stepped down the stairs having been the female selected for the task. The young Hyuga heiress didn't particularly like being the target of attention but knew better than to talk back to her teacher. She was more nervous however knowing that the male partner that had been selected was no other than her crush who seemed to have also not particularly liked having been selected to stand on display.

"Now," said Kurenai as Hinata and Naruto stood side by side watching as the remaining class members eyes targeted between them and their substitute teacher. "When two people are attracted to one another multiple things begin to happen."

It was at that moment that Hinata's mind began to run into overdrive as she realised what Kurenai was implying. Surely the teacher was unaware of her affections for Naruto but that didn't make the situation any less awkward for the young Hyuga who began to fidget on the spot.

"Firstly, your hormones will begin to kick in, common signs include shows of affection or in some cases the opposite depending on what type of person you are," said Kurenai. "If the feeling is mutual the two people can begin seeing one another in more of a private setting."

Kurenai felt like slapping herself in the forehead for how badly she had worded that last phrase but was thankful when a student raised their hand for a question. The Jounin gestured towards the pink haired girl and wondered what she had to say, hoping it was something relevant to the conversation. "You said two people just then," stated Sakura having picked up that fact. "Shouldn't you have said a boy and a girl?"

"While that assumption is accurate in most cases, there is nothing wrong with a boy loving a boy and a girl loving a girl," said Kurenai which caused many of the guys to gag at the thought of being attracted to another guy. "Now back on topic, when two people share mutual attraction they will often show their attraction by numerous means, one of the most common being kissing."

A loud thud rang out as Hinata crumpled to the floor, the thought of kissing Naruto having been too much for her brain to comprehend. "Hinata!" shouted Naruto as he knelt down to ensure that the young Hyuga was well, Kurenai doing the same unsure what had just happened. Many of the classmates watched on in urgency wondering what was going on, the Jounin immediately knowing that if they started to crowd around the collapsed girl it wouldn't end well.

"Class dismissed," she declared boldly.

"But miss, there's still twenty more..."

"I said CLASS DISMISSED!" shouted Kurenai, her emotions having reached boiling point. There was no questioning her this time as all of the students gathered their belongings and filed out of the classroom as quickly as they could, many of them ecstatic that they had been gotten this moment of freedom.

"Will Hinata be okay?" asked Naruto having been brave enough to face Kurenai's wrath in order to stay by Hinata's side.

"I'll take her to the infirmary," stated Kurenai as she lifted the petite girl up into her arms. "I'm sure she'll be okay. After that however there's something I must do."

...

A fuming Kurenai stormed through the streets with one destination in mind. She had suffered through that madness for far too long without a single bit of help on a topic she had little knowledge in all because Anko would get a kick out of it. Now Kurenai was going to merely return the favour, albeit in a bit more physical fashion.

Ascending the stairs and reaching the home of her friend, she didn't bother to knock as she lifted up her foot and kicked down the door with enough force to make Might Gai proud. The splintered wood exploded in all directions which made Kurenai feel that little bit better about how the day had progressed. Stepping into the room, she turned her head around searching for her prey and realised that she wasn't within this part of the building. She couldn't help but wonder whether or not Anko was even home and if her rampage was all for nothing before she heard what sounded like a muffled scream come from the bedroom.

Immediately Kurenai worried that her friend was in trouble, charging forward and bursting through the bedroom door before quickly covering her eyes at the sight before her. "Nai-chan, I didn't realise your lesson had already finished," said Anko coolly having almost expected this result after the prank she had played. "If you would allow me some manner of privacy I can finish up Iruka's personal lesson quickly."

"Take all the time you want," blurted Kurenai as she shielded her eyes and made her way out of the room, the fact that Iruka had left her in charge of the class in order to have sex with Anko having not quite processed yet. Stepping out of the house, Kurenai finally allowed her eyes to see something other than the palm of her hand looking out at the village before her.

The Jounin's palm enclosed into a fist as she silently swore revenge on Anko, knowing that she would need to do something truly terrifying in an attempt to make her friend even the slightest bit concerned. Stepping down into the street, Kurenai was surprised to find Hinata Hyuga who had been walking along the road having seemingly recovered from her fainting spell.

"Hinata, good to see you're doing well," said Kurenai happy that there was seemingly no damage.

"K-Kurenai sensei," said Hinata with a small bow. "Umm...was t-there anymore of the class that I m-missed?"

"NO! Just forget everything that happened in that class, at all, period! Ignore everything that was said," exclaimed Kurenai, gripping Hinata by the shoulders and shaking her back and forth like a rag doll. Suddenly realising what she was doing was possibly more than the young girl could handle, Kurenai stopped what she was doing immediately.

"So...umm...what should I-I know then?" asked Hinata.

"Well...one day Hinata, you're going to meet somebody really special, you may even have already met them," said Kurenai adding that last part having easily figured out who the Hyuga's crush was. "The important thing is that when you two are old enough to have sex you'll know what to do naturally. Just make sure, and I cannot stress this enough, that your partner has protection."

"See Nai-chan, you do make a good teacher," said Anko from her busted doorway, clearly not phazed by the fact that the wooden object had been obliterated. Both Kurenai and Hinata turned their attention up to where Anko's apartment was, Hinata's face immediately going red at the sight before her.

"Put some damn clothes on!"

...

**Hope you enjoyed.**

**Thanks to Dying Grin, my buddy from Team Dragon Star, who helped me along with this little project. If you want to see what other collaborations we do go check us out at TDS.**

**Peace**


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